September Thoughts

Hello, friends! Can you believe it’s already the end of September? It’s so crazy how time flies. I can’t believe it has already been over four months since I’ve graduated university. What have I been doing all this time?! On one hand, it feels like I haven’t accomplished much as I don’t have a set full-time job at a nice company where I’m earning a stable income. Granted, my graduation came as an unpleasant surprise which you can read about here, so I didn’t have much time to prepare for all that. I mean, I definitely could have applied for a nice full-time job (and I did soon after graduating but took a break to just enjoy my summer with visiting family), but I’m also taking this opportunity to pursue my hobbies and experiment with the uncertain future.

It’s been great blogging again. I really missed sharing my thoughts and experiences with everyone. A few years ago, I made my first blogger friends. There was this sense of community that felt so amazing to be a part of. We weren’t huge bloggers by any means, but it was absolutely astounding to meet people who shared the same interests and supported one another in our endeavors. I’ve lost touch with my blogger friends over the years as I’ve been on hiatus, but it’s been nice striving to meet more bloggers online.

I’ve also been taking this time to learn more about photography. I’m actually going to Pebble Beach today with my mom to get some fresh air and pick up some gifts for family in Korea, and I’m planning on bringing my dad’s DSLR to practice using it. I recently gifted my parents two roundtrip tickets to their hometown to visit family they haven’t seen in years, so we’re going to get some 100 Years of Pebble Beach themed gifts for my uncles who are into golf. After that, we’re probably just going to go for a nice drive by the beach for some quality mother and daughter time.

I guess this month has been a lot of stress for me as I’ve been finishing up job applications to teach abroad but left with a sense of guilt and shame for not choosing the steady road of simply settling down into adulthood and getting a “real job.” I’m thankful that my parents are allowing me to choose my own path, but I can’t help feel burdened by the weight of what society considers success. I was just going to relax until August and then pick back up with applying for a “real job,” but my decision to pursue my travel and blogging dreams has been both liberating yet heavy. Out of college now, it is a much more burdensome load to carry.

But nothing great comes without effort, right? I’m still trekking the great unknown, but I’m sure things will fall into place soon. There’s no guarantee that this is the path to success, but I know I will forever regret it if I don’t pursue what I’m passionate about. It’s now or never.

September has left me feeling a bit empty inside as I struggle with my uncertain future and fight the societally inflicted shame I feel in postponing a corporate career. All in all, it’s been a mentally exhausting month, and I can’t wait to finally be over this slump. October, bring it on.

Until next time,

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